Sorry my humour is a little silly/warped as I kept thinking of funny/alternative things with the songs while out walking.
Lonely Ness - about the last Loch Ness Monster in Scotland
The Eurovision Flop Carnival - a celebration of the songs and acts that just didn't make it
I'll Cut That Mullet With Some Scissors - a despondent hairdresser tries to get rid of Pat Sharp's hairdo in 1989
Anyway I'll be off to read Annually and Classic Pop Vol 2 tonight and tomorrow...