Patrick Bateman wrote:[Chorus: ClyCly]
My paella's gone cold I'm wondering why I...
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window...
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad...
[1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background]
[2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise]
[Lidia as 'Satanas']
Dear Neil, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways; f*** it, what's been up? Man how's Janet Street-Porter?
ClyCly's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a godmother
If I have a son, guess what I'm a call him?
I'm a name him Neil Francis
I read about your Oscar Wilde too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bumboy who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got more than one copy of Disco 2
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Cicero too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Satanas
[Chorus: ClyCly]
[Lidia as 'Satanas']
Dear Neil, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's f***** UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for psb-freak
That's my little friend man, she's only twenty-three years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
Four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like her second favourite Pet Shop Boy
She wants to be just like Chris Lowe, she likes him more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Madrid - you said if I'd write you
You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I can't sing either;
I'm always out of tune and can never reach the high notes too
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
Cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
ClyCly's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Neil, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Satanas - P.S.
We should be together too
[Chorus: ClyCly]
[Lidia as 'Satanas']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Neil, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Just Luis, (no me neither),
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Just Luis saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Neil, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Neil; [*screaming*] Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Neil, that's ClyCly screamin in the trunk
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
[car tires squeal] [CRASH]
... [brief silence]... [LOUD splash]
[Chorus: ClyCly]
[Neil]
Dear Satanas, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said ClyCly's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your son that
And here's an autograph for psb-freak,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
C'mon - how f***** up is you?
You got some issues Satanas, I think you need some counseling
To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and ClyCly need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Satanas
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some nutter was drunk and drove her car over a bridge
And had some girl in the trunk, and she was pregnant with her godkid
And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, her name was... it was you
Damn!
so awesome
I don't think she even got banned from Dot did she? I don't think they actually had any moderators to speak of. Anyway, I've seen her post on here occasionally and it always gives me the shudders to think she's still about. Speaking of the crazies, who remembers Spaceman? I've often wondered what became of him, he became increasingly more and more deranged! And then there were the famous Spaceman impersonators. Ah, the memories indeed...
