Silly Christmas cracker jokes

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Postscript
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Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#1 Post by Postscript »

It's the time for Christmas crackers again... and they often come with a silly joke inside. What silly or funny cracker jokes do you know?

I find this one very funny myself:
Why is turkey so popular at Christmas? - Because it's warmer there.

:D
I love passion.

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Issey Miyake
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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#2 Post by Issey Miyake »

who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws !!

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sneakythesnake
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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#3 Post by sneakythesnake »

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.

What's Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even.

Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards."
Doctor: "I'll deal with you later."

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost.

Why don't bananas sunbathe?
Because they'd peel.




I'll get my coat...

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psb-freak
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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#4 Post by psb-freak »

What´s Tarzan´s Christmas song?
-Jungle Bells

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
-A pineapple

What do you call Santa's helpers?
-Subordinate Clauses

What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
-A list of everything you want!

What Christmas song is the deafs´s Christmas song?
-Do you hear what I hear?
Interviewer:
-What would you tell someone about yourself if you wanted to impress them?

Chris:
-I´ve got a 12-inch plonker.

Kris
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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#5 Post by Kris »

What was the tortoise doing on the motorway?

About 1mph
Passion, love, sex, money, violence, religion, injustice and death. More on that story later.

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psb-freak
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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#6 Post by psb-freak »

Actually tortoises can be quite fast. (we have one at home)
Interviewer:
-What would you tell someone about yourself if you wanted to impress them?

Chris:
-I´ve got a 12-inch plonker.

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Fugitive1979
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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#7 Post by Fugitive1979 »

psb-freak wrote:Actually tortoises can be quite fast. (we have one at home)
You mean they can get up to 2mph?
:| :o

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psb-freak
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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#8 Post by psb-freak »

Fugitive1979 wrote:
psb-freak wrote:Actually tortoises can be quite fast. (we have one at home)
You mean they can get up to 2mph?
Don´t know how much it is in km/h.
Interviewer:
-What would you tell someone about yourself if you wanted to impress them?

Chris:
-I´ve got a 12-inch plonker.

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Fugitive1979
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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#9 Post by Fugitive1979 »

psb-freak wrote:
Fugitive1979 wrote:You mean they can get up to 2mph?
Don´t know how much it is in km/h.
3.2km/h
:| :o

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Re: Silly Christmas cracker jokes

#10 Post by Postscript »

LOL
I love passion.

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